Talk about a creative Tuesday. Sometimes I just start writing and ten pages later I'm done,
and I'm not really sure what I just went on about but I kinda wanna share it. That happened today.
So here you go...some random thoughts on life and where I'm at. And I dug up some old
photos too, just for fun. Because life is fun. I also may have made up a word or two...
I feel like for the last ten years I have been searching for something, some answers, or something else. I'm pretty sure I had no idea what I was looking for or hoping to find, but I was sure I would find it in the external world; something in other people or another place or some wild experiences or a different haircut or a new country or friend. What I found though, was my Self. I've found so much understanding, inner peace, and Self love in the last decade, with a few years that could accurately be compared to a really long roller coaster. I haven't felt this good in a long time. It sure took awhile to get to this point. And lots of different hair.
I think I had a lot of these ideas that I had it "figured out" in the beginning of those ten years, and maybe I did to an extent, but life definitely wanted to teach me some more shit and give me a lot more firsthand experiences to solidify some foundational beliefs; the ones that I knew, but maybe didn't understand fully yet. That's the beauty of experience...failure, success, understanding, humility, the list goes on.
And now here I am, and I've still got a long way to go. But at least I'm here, now. I've felt a little lost for awhile. I couldn't quite get all of my ducks in a row. I would lose my temper sometimes (that's a coconut, by the way). I was having a hard time staying positive, believing that I was right where I was supposed to be. Sometimes it doesn't feel that way. And that's okay.
Anyway, I've finally come full circle, or at least mostly. The circle's never perfect. But I feel so good about things right now, about my Self, and about all of life right now. Life is really good, and I am very grateful.
So, naturally I've begun to attract new lessons in my life, some of the hardest too. I now am in a position to help others find their path and to offer advice when asked about the way I see a certain situation or how my perspectives differ from others. This is humbling, but also difficult when those I love are struggling with their own life lessons. I can only offer what my experiences have taught me; this doesn't mean it will be the same for you. I can't tell someone exactly how to "fix" things or how to find their way again by telling them how I did it. I can, of course, share what I have done and learned, but this can only be taken with a grain of salt and added to the cocktail of your own life experiences.
Where do we find the Self love and courage to make the right decisions? Where does it come from? How do we decide what the "right" decisions are anyway? What if our heart voice is buried so deep below so many other voices in our head? So many questions...sorry.
I can only speak from my own experiences...the good, the bad, and the ugly. I can't tell anyone else how to live their life and how to make good decisions. "Good decisions" is a relative term anyway. What is good for me may not be good for you, and what's good for you probably isn't good for that guy. The key, I think, is in using our heart voice more and more until it becomes the only one we hear.
But how do you get to that point? We're told to follow our dreams and pursue our passions. We go to college, or not; move away from home, or not; start experiencing and experimenting with new faces and places. Some people we meet set us on a track for greatness, or influence and inspire us to be the best we can be from day one. Other people we meet may take us down a darker path for awhile, testing our strength and courage to find our way again on our own. This could happen multiple times. Honestly the latter builds more character in my opinion. It gives us much more depth in our understanding and perceptions of life. We need adversity to grow. We need challenges to learn. We need to fuck up, more than once, to open our eyes to different ways of doing things.
Recently I've been dealing with multiple people in my life who are struggling to find their way; for some, again. I want to tell them exactly what to do. I want to tell them exactly what I did. But it doesn't work like that. I can't just give someone the same books that changed my life or make them talk to the same people that saved me and changed my perspectives. Chances are, they'll be completely uninterested or it will make no impact on them whatsoever. We each have to find our own ways of doing life.
But how? And how do I help someone I love and care about figure it out for themselves? I'm not sure if I have an answer, but I'll give it a shot. The very first thing you can do if you want to make a positive change in your life is you have to want to do it. However serious it is, it will never work if you don't truly want the outcome. The universe listens. Speaking of the universe...tap into those energies! This is where I lose some people who aren't aware of how these energies work...so listen up.
What we put out into the world is what we get back. Doesn't matter what we're talking about...karma, a smile, our dreams, some bad juju, the way we cut the vegetables, or just the way we say hello, or don't say it at all. The universe reflects what we think right back to us. So how do we use this to our advantage? Simple, or simply said. We constantly think and give off positive energy and positive thoughts. We visualize what we say we want for ourselves and our lives and see the outcome in our minds. This opens up the universe to reflect this good energy back into our lives, ultimately putting us directly on the path we were meant to be on, moving forward. Easier said than done, I know. Especially with old habits and addictions getting in the way, but you have to start. Start using the screen in the back of your eyeballs to visualize how you would like to be living, every day, all the time. Even if you make a "bad" decision, don't judge yourself. Don't get off track. No one's perfect and it's gonna be hard to get to the point you want to get to. I'm speaking from experience. It's not easy, but this is exactly what makes us stronger, better people every day.
Sometimes, most times, it's you yourself who you have to battle more than anyone or anything else. It's all in our minds. Move that decision-making voice from the mind to the heart where you can tap into that universal energy that always wants what's best for you, whether you think you want it or not. The heart knows.
It also helps to hang around folks who are living the way you would like to be living. This is very powerful...finding friends and acquaintances who you can look up to and turn to for advice and support. Community is everything. We do not have to do any of this alone. Reach out to people, make new friends, get coffee with someone you admire and ask them questions about life. Stop talking and listen. That's always a hard one for me; if you know me at all you know I love to talk. But listening is much more rewarding and offers a glimpse into someone else's way of thinking and doing things. Don't close off your imagination to the myriad ways of doing life. You can live it however you want. There are no rules.
Alright, if you made it this far, I salute you. I'm done. That's my ramble for the day.
Got a good ramble? Send it to me...these are some of my favorite stories to share.